When I started learning and working with Emotional Resolution (EmRes), I thought: “Hey, EmRes is great stuff. There are lots of people with over-the-top emotions, trapped in their behaviors and locked into patterns that seem unbreakable.” And EmRes can certainly tackle those myriad of “large” emotions, that swamp people’s lives and keep them imprisoned in cycles of fear, rage and abuse, to themselves and others.
Now that I’ve worked with EmRes for a while, with clients, friends, fellow practitioners and myself, I’ve come to realize that, Yes, it works great for people with “big” emotional issues. But we all have tensions inside of us. They range from irritable, snappy, or loudly expressed to bitter, callous, quiet eye-rolling or coldly indifferent.
When I was working in IT, I was frequently under high levels of stress for long periods of time. It’s kind of the nature of the beast in IT. And occasionally, I’d blow up, directly my anxiety outward. Subconsciously, it was my way to scare people away so that they would leave me alone and my sensations would go away. The physical sensation that my brain used to tell me that something was wrong. (but I didn’t know it at the time.)
In our schools, there are 6 year old kids that are throwing tables across the room. Why? Because they are afraid. They have so much tension inside and by throwing the table, they are trying to release it . They are trying to control it the uncomfortable sensations–shut it down.
As a parent, how many times have we yelled at our kids, then regret it and maybe apologize later–“I’m sorry, I love you”? But then sometime later the child will do it again, or something similar, as they do, and we react again, apologize again? What sensations are we trying extinguish?
As a care-giver to someone that used to be sharp as a tack, but now has trouble finding their shoes, we can be impatient and snappish. Why is the emotion surging, over what is now a matter of fact in Mom’s life?
The subtle physical sensations that represent our emotions, are put there by our brain to alert us to a perceived situation that is similar, sometimes vaguely so, to some past event that was extremely upsetting to us. We employed the now invoked emotion to “survive” that episode. The unconscious mind remembers all these events in our lives. It is trying to prepare us for a new such event by invoking the emotion, much like blood-pressure goes up in preparation for a physical activity.
So when you react at someone, recognize the cycle of
- The incident — usually something done around you e.i., Mom does something irritating
- The tension – your subconscious reacts and creates physical sensations, a new tension in the body
- The snappish comment, raised voice, heavy sigh, take a breath (or two), etc – attempt to release or control the sensations
- The contrition – if the release extended outward to affect another
- The calm – AHHH, relief! the sensation is gone.
Slamming doors and rolling eyes, shows that we still have something to work on. Your reactions and behaviors are the telltales of what is lying under the surface. The reacts don’t resolve the emotions, they just temporarily relieve the tension.
EmRes does resolve the emotion of the situation. It resets the subconscious mind’s connect between the situation and the emotion — there is no danger here, you don’t need to provoke that emotion any more. It’s done, that emotional situation is gone…forever.
On one level, EmRes is for people with major trauma, that need major shifts. But on another level, it is really about resolving the simple interactions that are not “above the line”.
Our work on ourselves is very important. ANYTHING that brings on a physical sensation is “actionable”.
EmRes is a tool for accelerating our Human Growth Potential.
The more content we are, the better we are for those around us. If we are not content, we can’t fake it and be present for others. And every time you do an eye-roll, you are not content.
We can grow and evolve into more decent, wonderful, better human beings that we were yesterday. We have the potential to be Super-Great.
Are you read to shed your unwanted reactions and be Super? Learn Self-EmRes or work with an EmRes professional.